Co-Parenting Insights

Becoming a good co-parent is a unique skill as it requires you to collaborate on an incredibly important matter - your kids - with someone who you likely aren't or haven't worked well with... namely your former partner.

It is a good time of year to share some learnings from the past five years of co-parenting that helps up my game:

Assume positive intent. Often easy to say but hard to put into practice. Pro tip: keep the objective of ‘doing what is best for your kids’ in the forefront of your mind.

Communicate kindly about your co-parenting partner whenever possible - particularly with your kids. Kindness to your co-parenting partner is beneficial for the kids and helps you ground yourself in positive affect towards your permanent co-parenting partner. I intentionally avoid the term “my ex” in favour fo the mother of my daughters or my former partner.

Build systems of communication and regular touchpoints even for somewhat trivial things to ensure everyone is on the same page as often as possible. Monthly meetings with an agenda helps.

If at all possible try to socialize as co-parents with your kids occasionally as it will normalize new relationship dynamics for the kids and can be healing. Pro tip: Pick one holiday to do a joint dinner or gathering.

Remember that while it is generally an unrecognized skill, it is worth developing for your kids and these are valuable skills in life as well.

What has worked well for you?